Into You Like a Train

While attending a New Years party with a few acquaintances Lionel was asked why he wasnt "macking" on any "bitches." Lionel stated that he simply wasn't interested at that moment in time. With that simple statement, Lionel was accused of being of the homosexual influence. Lionel decided to go home.

That evening, before falling asleep, Lionel decided to plan a rendezvous with a female via Craigslist. After sifting through a few ads in the Casual Encounters section Lionel chose one. It read "u must be around my age no older than 24 u must be safe and wear condoms u must live close 2 me this is for one time discreet nsa fantsay i have now thats it one time only send age loc and photos be 4 real." Lionel sent his age, location and photos.

The next morning Lionel received an e-mail informing him of the rendezvous spot. He drove there. Upon his arrival he met a semi-attractive female named Fiona.

"What's your fantasy?" he asked.

She took him to a post in her backyard and tied him up. She sauntered to the other side of the yard and picked up a bow as well as an arrow.

She shot the arrow in his left leg.

iPlug

It was called the iPlug. 100 Gigs and only half an inch long. All you had to do was unclip the two plugs and put them in your ears like headphones, but with out the wires, did I mention it was bluetooth too. The device also ran off the heat from your ears and was operated by voice command. It was a hit and sold millions during the 2010 Christmas season. The only problem with it was that people would pull pranks with the voice commands. Say there were 8 people listening to the iPlug on a bus then some kid getting off the bus would yell, "Power off!" and all the iPlugs would shutdown. It was unfortunate, but the second generation would have owner voice recognition and solve that problem.
The three inventors were all alumni from Cal Tech and stayed very close through their success. Katy, second from the left, married a man named Jezariah Canyon Shutz Munyer. He owned and operated a go-kart track called "Thunder Kart" in Santa Clara, just opposite Katy's office. The others weren't sure of Jez's true intentions for marrying Katy, but his sense of humor out weighed their fears. Bill is at the center of the picture and the oldest of trio. He bought a log cabin just outside of Vancouver and married his child hood friend, Gabriel, second from the right. They soon started a baking company together called "Sweetness." The last of three inventors was Andrew, he's on the far right and holding the second generation of the iPlug. Andrew was unable to find true love. Most of his money instead went up his nose and on call girls in the San Jose area. He figured that since most of the girls were going to college, he was actually supporting local education. His addiction got out of hand one day when he was arrested for trying to trade an iPlug for a handjob from a fifteen year-old girl. He bought a great lawyer and got off with only 100 hours of community service. This photo was taken after the hearing.

John the Revelator

A man walked out of the rain and into a train station. A worn down Volkswagon key was set to his left. A terquoise umbrella was imploded and set further to his left. His legs were crossed and a red book with a cross on it was placed on his lap.

A female sat across fom him. Purple eyeliner. Large hoop earrings. A lession above her right brow. Cherry lipstick. Butterfly sunglasses.

The lips of the female slowly parted after being overly supplied with saliva from her tongue. "Hi" was silently said.

The male made no movements.

The Butterfly sunglasses quickly flew away from the females eyes. She nodded towards the restroom. "Tweny for tweny," was said slightly louder than her previous statement.

The book on the males lap was opened. He began reading, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name thy Kingdom come, thy will be alone on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive those who trespass against us lead us not into temptation-"

-"but delivah us," the female continued, again raising her voice, "from evil for thine is the kingdom and the powa and the glowy foreva and eva."

The male nodded.

"I heard it all befo, Mistah." The female closed her eyes and fell asleep.